Hard Truths to Swallow

I’ve had a lot on my mind this week. Not sure when I found time to think at work, but here we are. A conversation topic today was depression and anxiety. I finally admitted something out loud that I’m surprised no one noticed. I used my jokes and humor as coping management for depression. There are others but this is the largest one. No one can stop a sense of humor where as they can stop other activities.

My anxiety and panic attacks have been known to paralyze. My body aches, my heart feels like I’m going into cardiac arrest. I beat them for years. They were gone until the last few months. So where does this leave me?

Struggling through my weekly routine. Fighting the desire to drastically change so much. I want to hide and write but the words are slow. I’ll shake it again in time. For now, it is one day no matter what. I’ll fight the need to hide away from the world for those who can’t understand.  I’ll focus on the books I’m writing with hopes of the others finding success.

I love you all,

Raymond

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